Bouncing round the energy levels

What’s too much? I mean, in a person.

One of my biggest fears is that I am too much. I’ve tried to stuff it inside, but I know it—I am A LOT. But then again, it depends on who’s on the receiving end of all this “too much,” doesn’t it?

I jump around from idea to idea.

My husband calls it "Idea du jour." He tries to get me to stick to one idea for at least three months before acting on it. This works for the big things—like babies or moving house—but for everything else? He’s rolling with rapid change. For someone as steady as him, it’s A LOT.

I love too much.

I’ve smothered my kids with affection—massaged them as babies, stroked their backs as teens to help them sleep, and even now, in adulthood, I still call too often. I write them yearly letters reminding them how amazing they are, just in case they forget, or something happens to me. There’s not much I wouldn’t do for them. I’m woven into their lives, whether they want it or not. I’m sure it’s A LOT, especially for my older kids' partners. They find me lounging on their sofas, poking my head into their fridges, always there.

I am wide open.

Ask me how I am, and you’ll get the unfiltered truth. Maybe you didn’t want to know that I’m pissed off because the house is a mess and Alistair never turns on the side lights or puts his shoes away. I know it’s TMI, and all that’s probably needed is a simple "Fine, thanks. And you?" But I just go there, oversharing. I know it’s A LOT. I should shut up sometimes.

I want everyone to love what I love.

I push my latest obsessions onto people. The new kitchen gadget? You must get a Thermomix—it’s life-changing! Or the BEST new workout ever—let’s go to New York for Hyrox! I found a singing club near my house; can you believe it? Come for dinner; yeah, I’ll cook for 20 people, full roast, no problem! We’ll all squeeze in together, tight spaces, I want lots of laughter. 

I see my daughter roll her eyes and tell me to calm down. She’s right. I am too much.

I ignore her. But I feel it. 

That brings me to Core Energy Coaching. Sometimes I dip into Level 1—a low energy state where I retreat inward and feel like I am too much. But not for long. I quickly snap back up to Level 6—the place of possibility. Ahh, the connection and potential. I’ll gather the family, who we haven’t seen all together in ages, but this time with a calmer vibe. I remind myself I can access a more relaxed energy, something that flows with the group, rather than overwhelms.

You always have a choice.

In the past, I might have dropped into Level 2—anger, competition, needing to be right. I’d think, “Who does she think she is? I’m her mother, I know best.” But now, I see how energy flows and impacts me, and I choose differently. It’s mind-blowing.

Take today, for example.

The morning started slow. A crisp, cold dog walk through wet grass, watching the sun warm the fields. I logged into work, sorted emails, attended meetings—overall, a solid Level 4: happy, helping, and in service.

Then, out of nowhere, BOOM! 

A fresh burst of energy at lunch from my friend Mary. Suddenly, ideas started flooding in, productivity surged, and I felt on fire, Level 6 again. Everything clicked into place, the dots connected, and I was unstoppable.

As the day winds down, I’m settling into a steady pace, Level 5. A great place for collaboration, just moving in and out of projects, conversations, and getting stuff done.

Now I’m sitting in a coffee shop at Brunel University, waiting for my youngest to finish athletics training. I’m back at Level 4, patiently biding my time, content.

Today’s been highly anabolic. 

I feel great. But by the time we get home, I’ll be ready for some downtime. I know if I don’t get that long, hot soak in the bath, I might slip into Level 1 again, feeling resentful of doing things for others all day.

But now, I’m conscious of it. I know I can choose how to shift through different energy levels, and that’s been a game-changer.

It’s not a perfect science

But it helps. Having the language to talk about energy with my family, friends, and colleagues makes things so much clearer. We understand each other better. There’s less miscommunication.

So maybe, I’m not too much after all.